29… Such a crucial stage for a woman to accept isn’t it?
But as for me, the feeling is opposite. Seriously. I know, “knock knock” to me when my family and relatives are too eager for me to get acquainted and be married now.
The past few years has been too intense that I have this longing of wanting to get out of the “box”. Like I’m some kind of a wallflower trapped. It was such a great battle for me until I look deeper into my heart asking myself over and over again… “WHO AM I?”
I continued to search until I found myself… Seeking the ONE who made me.
Flashback of the past was the one thing I struggle with. It consumed my present situation and feels like it affected my future. But then I surrendered it all to the ONE who made me, again.
I longed, I sought, I battled and yet I couldn’t seem to win the battle for me. Only when I accepted the fact that I’m a human being, I was born a sinner, EVE’s my ancestor, did it occurred to me that I should stop complaining, live the moment and ask HIM to take control of everything.
So anyway… Enough about my sentiments. Back to my 29-ish topic. OH YES, I’m turning 29 this coming Saturday (August 24)! Can I tell you a little secret though? I don’t feel like I’m 29 — really. I feel like I’m stuck in the age of 25. I know what you’re thinking… No I’m not in denial. I’m very much happy I’m turning to the last season of the 20’s and I’ve never been so happy and blessed.
29 years. And can I just say — I’ve lived a beautiful life. Not a bed of roses kind of thing. I’ve lived my life to the fullest. Let’s just say — If anyone asks me if I’m happy with my decisions — I say it with the biggest grin “YES”. What more can a girl ask for? I am a woman with a childlike faith – in short, PEACE OF MIND lives in me.
I didn’t get to live as a fashion designer / stylist, but I was grateful to those moments when I was able to do it out of love not money. I didn’t get to travel a lot — YET, but I realized my mom didn’t bring me with her to Paris so my soon-to-be-husband and I can take the chance to get lost in the city of LOVE — gah, so much for my romantic thoughts. I lived all my life as a strong lady — from being a good girl obeying my parents to a self-centered wild party girl and in the end I found myself kneeling to the ONE I owe it all to.
A decade has passed, remembering the bittersweet journey of almost getting married. Oh, how I thank YOU for not letting me, I would have been in the middle of annulment by the age of 24. All I’m saying is that — I’m very blessed to be single now and savoring every moment. I’m not going to rush anything anymore. I’m waiting. The art of waiting, I believe the ONE made it all clear to me recently that He will indeed lay it all down in His perfect timing, because He happens to put it on the deeper core of my longing heart — yes, HE DID. Friends, that’s what you call — a gift. 🙂
Everything is too random now… Let’s get down to one thing…
My Birthday wish? I thought about it really because my best girlfriends asking me what I want… A new bag? A new car? A new gadget? All the material things seems to taken aback from my life now. After few years, I’m pretty sure I would want a new version of them. So scratch it out on my list. A husband — Well, where can you buy them just in case? – Kidding. I would want to settle with what I truly deserve right? So might as well scratch that again. You see, I fasted for a few days because He asked me to and this means taking the relationship with HIM to the next level. And it came to me in 4 words (NO HYPOCRISY here) — THY WILL BE DONE. Yes that’s my birthday wish this year.
You may think I’m very oblivious, but I’m taking you guys a tour very soon where my FAITH in HIM will get me to the best season of my life.
Until then. May His grace and mercy be upon you, in the name of Jesus Christ.