The Joy of Singleness

….or not?

Whoever tells you he or she is happy and contented being single is in denial. C’mon, we are made by GOD a relational human being.

This is not a hate or bitter post, just so you know and before you even attempt to close my website. Hear me out first.

We live in millennial generation where the world aims for perfection, thanks to social media feeds, #blessed #couplegoals etc.. I figured even finding your soulmate needs to be perfect. An imperfect human being afraid to show another imperfect human being thy flaws. Scared to be exposed and judged. Most of us have walls higher than the Great Wall of China, taller than Burj Khalifa and thicker than the wall of Jericho. So we get stuck in a state of mind where we pretend to be so joyous in being alone. I don’t need anyone, hindi kita kailangan. Kaya ko mag-isa.

So how do we even find joy in singleness? Is there an algorithm? Is there even a self-help book? Is there a great speaker to teach us?

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For the past SEVEN LONG YEARS (in my Christian life) as a single woman, I read all sorts of book, Paano mag-wait; How to find the one?; I kissed Marriage Goodbye; etc., I’ve attended every Valentine’s series baka kasi may na missed out ako, I’ve tried almost everything pero waley. Yet the good thing naman, I did almost a single person could do like getting to know myself more, traveling alone and not worrying if someone’s waiting for you at home, checking your bucket-list and the likes. Yon lang, as I age yearly, the longing gets a little deeper. Hay Lord, asan na ba siya?

“Ang choosy mo kasi” famous nosy people’s line who thinks they know me so well. As you know, I learned a lot from my previous relationships especially the time I was so young and got engaged. That’s right, I once was, but left me so broken afterwards I couldn’t even stand being alone. So I chased one after the other. Until I found myself at the feet of Christ Jesus, alam mo yon feeling na sobrang torn na yon heart mo? Sobrang shattered emotionally, physically, mentally… That’s how I felt when I met HIM and yet He accepted me, made me whole again. I hear ya, “Ayan na naman siya, ipapasok na naman ang spirituality“. Half of me would say yes because this is my blog, lol, and partly, this is how I am currently dealing with my singleness.

So am I saying “leave it all to the spiritual realms?” Well, what I’m trying to say is “Pray and wait for God to turn things around. And if it still doesn’t happen, ask HIM to give you the grace to accept which season you are in.” Ang hirap diba? So why did I even share it with you? Because I want you to be encouraged as I am kahit mahirap. Nothing is really luck. Every person you meet in your life has God-given purpose. Seeking GOD seems to be cliche but is the only way to deal with singleness struggle.

So Katrina are you saying, “nga-nga” na lang ba ako and wait for the man to suddenly show up in my house? Well if in that case, WHY NOT? Kiddin. GO OUT, meet people, go on  a date, have fun. Men have some balls to ask someone you like, women don’t be pabebe but give someone a chance. YET, be wise in choosing so. Ask yourself, is he/she worth the time and effort? But Katrina, no one is asking me out! Well, in that case this is why I made this post. I believe if it’s your season to shine, it’ll happen in a snap of a finger. And it also goes to show, if God really wants you to be married, HE WILL. Regardless of what age you are in. I’m saying this with utter hope na sana Lord wag mo na patagalin.

As a single woman en-heartening another single person, I AM NOT AN EXPERT, don’t be impatient, don’t jump into something you might be remorseful in the end. HINDI KA NAG-IISA, I’m giving you a virtual hug and yes we can make this one through. Don’t let the world dictate your season just because you’re single.

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Someday, someone will sit with me and in that moment, I would whisper to him, “you are worth waiting for”.

A lot of my friends commended “Tinder” and to tell you frankly, I thought of having one too. PERO WAIT. Hindi dun ang way na gusto ko ma meet yon the one. And no, I’m not judging anyone who found love in Tinder, good for you 💕, this is again my own conviction. My dream place of meeting my God’s best? Sa coffee shop. (Promoting myself, KIDDIN’). I don’t know why but there is something so romantic with coffee shops. Okay. So you might say again “Edi tumambay ka lagi sa coffee shop?” It doesn’t work that way, you can’t force something in order to attain your next season. Kung baga, molding season pa ito. Besides only GOD knows your timing, right? Or should I say, time will only tell – DESTINY ba (for those who doesn’t want to be spiritual).

And this is what I want to speak with you while waiting… We have talents to use and time to not waste. Remember how Rebecca met Isaac in the Bible? (Aayy grabe kinilig ako dito eh, promise, peg ko ito! Genesis 24) It was just another working day for her and GOD said “this is the time”, so ayon na may love life na siya.

Someone asked me recently, “What if you’ll be single for life?” – wait lang, so I haven’t really gotten into thinking of this one. And I STRONGLY believe someone out there is meant for me and for you too. I don’t know with you but I’ve seen my GOD work things out in my life how much more than the promises of my heart’s desire, right? Malay natin, after I publish this, God intervenes. Tee-hee.

Finding joy in singleness – meh, I would lie to you if I said indeed, but finding GOD in your singleness is the way to joy. So for the meantime, “pray without ceasing” and do what makes you happy being alone. Don’t worry, being makulit with GOD will not piss him off, it only goes to show you trust HIM even more. And sabi diba, in waiting, it molds you to become the right one for your partner. I firmly believe one day, I will meet him, perhaps in a coffee shop (sana sa Toby’s, favorite ko dun, HAHAHA) and you will, too, in the place where it’s meant to be found.

– – if you have any concerns or violent reaction, you may actually message me below, I’d love to hear from you too. ❤️

Two weeks before Valentine’s day I was nearby Dangwa looking from afar, wanting a sunflower for myself, wishing someone would give me and then I sighed and drove away. Surprisingly, on the eve of Valentines Day, my brother Mark handed me this beautiful sunflower. 🌻🌻🌻

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Behind is my first painting I did. 😋 Hindi ko rin sure why did I even paint a romantic one? LOL.

This kind of surprise would make you sit still, reflect and be amazed by how little you are in this big world and Someone so greater above you could hear even your tiniest wish.

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Quoted by mother Audrey Hepburn

So look around you, perhaps, in the blink of an eye, God will open your eyes in the same time He open his and together as one for His purpose to prevail.

Happy Heart’s Month, everyone! 💖

PS: You might also want to check my previous post related to this… “Don’t You Dare Ask Me That“.

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