Lost in Transition.

Just in time for Holidays, something happened in my life a month ago… Not what I’ve been expecting.
I’ve always prayed that “the thing” will end sooner. But I never thought of it ending so soon that I was in shocked, devastated and immorally persecuted. I wasn’t given the right to explain my side. That day, it took a lot of guts and prayers to go through. I learned to be patient, I learned to humble myself still, I learned to be a much more educated person than the rest. Yes, because anyone in my place then would’ve done the opposite.

Don’t get me wrong, I WAS NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT ALL. I was too weak. But GOD did not left me, He used me in my weakness. For the Bible says in 2Corinthians12:9 “Each time the Lords says “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me.” Praise God for the parents He gave me, they brought me well enough to handle such things graciously.
Yesterday, I asked God if He can just speak to me. I am losing hope yet I do know in my heart and in the state of my mind, there is still that tiny faith that pushes me towards life. I mean, what is left of me now? I HAVE NONE except that I HAVE HIM. I hold on to His hands. I am tiny and I know HE is BIG. I am HOPELESS and I know HE is SOVEREIGN. That’s what keeps me going for the past few months. Remember what the Bible says :
Image from daughterziondesigns.com
That verse just struck in the deepest corner of my heart ever since Christ Jesus saved me. And I always remind myself that. My quiet time yesterday was peaceful, since I’m on my social media fasting (except twitter). I was so in tuned in Instagram and Facebook that I forgot that this season should be about resting and finding time for GOD. He spoke to me last night through a tiny butterfly. How did I know? My mentor never fails to remind me to ask GOD, to go back to Him always. So I did.
The butterfly story, my version 2.0
Last night, while the carolers were in our living room, I was busy in my room watching series (The Tomorrow People… Plugging? Kind of! Haha) I saw this tiny flying insect at the back of my laptop. I was kind of scared because I thought it was a cockroach. So in my courageous state of mind, I looked beyond it. Mind you, it suddenly disappeared like a ghost. So I went back to my series, and suddenly there it goes again. Kind of annoyed, I peeked to where the flying object and it was gone again. So I asked our maid to hand over the BAYGON. But she told me we ran out of it. Much to my displeasure, I told myself to forget about it and I must be hallucinating. Hours passed and had to clean up for bed, went to the bathroom and guess what, there it is again the tiny thing following me. I gazed upon it — that’s when I realized it was a BUTTERFLY. And suddenly — poof. It was gone, for good I guess. Today, in my quality time with GOD, was asking Him if that butterfly was the vision. I prayed fervently. And yes, HE DID give me the butterfly. Just before the incident happened, that afternoon, I came across a Butterfly story on which I faltered to search upon on. It was from GOD, a message He wanted me to know…
And I want to share this to you…
Sometimes in every aspect of life, we’re not even sure of the things even people if it’s ours to have for long a long time. All I know is that when you let it go, when you learn to accept, even forgive… That’s when freedom takes place. All we have now, all that we are now, it’s all because of the ONE who made us. WHO LOVES US. And maybe you’re in the same desperate situation as I am, all we can do is WAIT… Wait for HIM to take you to the place where He wants you to be.
Today, yes, it’s only today when I learned to really soak in His love. When I keep repeating to myself “GOD LOVES ME” and then I came across in the most perfect timing about this verse…
Image courtesy of flickriver.com

I don’t know what’s in store for tomorrow, I don’t even know if I’ll be able to go through all the challenges. Yet it reminded me I’m like the butterfly, I need to go through it all in order for me to fly… I just need to hold on to my Savior, Jesus Christ.

God bless you.

XOXO,
Katrina

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