“In 6years, the only thing that broke my heart is when he left me. The only man who gave the world to me, and loved me truly. I was his first princess, and he’ll always be my first love. Happy father’s day Daddy. I’m still lost, I miss you. ♥” – this was the tweet I posted last year..
My dad’s a typical Chinese father, as you all know, Chinese dads are just plainly strict and conservative.. Despite that, I was a spoiled little bratinella.. One of the fondest memory of him was when we went to Baguio to celebrate Christmas.. I was 16 and a rebellious daughter who wanted freedom, I was about to sneak out that night when I saw my dad sleeping on the sofa blocking the main door. Talk about outsmarting!
Anyway, Dad and I had this love-hate relationship. Never did I understood him especially his devotion to God, his quiet time w/ his Bible and the need to help others.. Not until now. My life’s an open book & most of the people who knew me knows that I was a ran away daughter, plus they accused me that I was the main reason why my father died.
2 days before he passed away.. He texted me “If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” It never occurred to me then the meaning of his message. I also remembered He gave me this Bible (I needed it for my BibStud at Benilde) with an encouraging message to read it and know who Christ is. But I just shrugged it away.
After his death, it made a way to the freedom I’ve been longing, or so I thought. Not until last year, I lost myself in the grounds of earth. I wrestled with God, cried out to Him. Almost turned my back on Him.. Just late last year, I tried to read my dad’s message on the Bible, it hit me. I started attending the service at Victory GH, yet I was on stage of confusion on who dad was really clinging on to.. And one day, God hold my hand.. made it all clear. My father was right all along!
“In 7 years, this man who’s after God’s own heart left this world to be with our Savior. He didn’t left me to be alone, but he left me in order for me to grow in Christ. Dad, you will always be my first love. And I know you are truly happy & proud of what I’ve become in Christ. I’m no longer lost daddy, God found me. I miss you.” – This will be my tweet for the coming Father’s day. 🙂
Btw, you can also check the other blogs about Father’s Day from Pastor Dennis Sy’s site… http://www.actlikeaman.org/ =) I am really overwhelmed by the people who took time to in reading my post!